Well! This is an exciting time of the year – the time when you get to know about the results. It was nice to see a few familiar names on the list and to realize that they have made it. Success in a UPSC exam is undoubtedly an intoxication indeed, the media, attention, the feeling of satisfaction on doing it.. It is a feeling truly deserved and something to feel proud about.
Having said that, it is one side of the picture, there is also the other side of the picture where emotions take a complete tailspin. For those who feel like that, I have been there, I do understand how it feels to be on a receiving end. The number of emotions you have are huge and the feeling is unbearable to say the least. The hurt is real bad, there is a constant feeling of a sting within, there is a sudden urge to realize why, there is an urge to blame the exam, there is an urge to kill the person who gave you a low score. It took me a long time to understand what I actually felt, the anger, anguish, the pain, all of it felt so bad and the entire world felt like it was going to crumble on me and make me feel weaker.
The next stage was trying to pick myself up (How to address when you feel like a failure?) . How do you pick yourself up from something this big, so much of time and emotions have been put to it to know that nothing has come out of it. I agree that it is a horrible feeling and we tend to go back to it and start blaming a lot of people including ourselves over and over again. I won’t be too audacious today to push some gyaan down your throat and say why it is good or what message it gives you. All I can say is that we are here with you, things happen, sometimes for our great, sometimes not so great. But they do happen. It does feel bad, it does feel hurt and the next few days people are going to make you feel worse about it. Make sure you have the right company, share your thoughts, forget the results for a while, go out and do what you like the most. That will keep your mind off, keep yourself as busy as possible. The feeling of hurt is not the easiest one to handle, but you got to do it, after all life is bigger than anything else.